Well, that's not exactly true for me in running. I don't really ever win in running events, but nor do I lose. I did my first run in 2008 so really I just feel lucky to be a runner!
Well this past weekend I think I completed my last road marathon. I knew I wouldn't beat my PR of 3:46, and didn't really have a goal but thought 4 hours seemed good. What I REALLY hoped for was to feel good and enjoy it.
I trained differently for this one, I knew what the consequences of this would be (a slower time) and I was ok with that. In the spring I ran the Badger Mountain Challenge and Red Devil trail runs, without training, and it became obvious I desperately needed a goal to get me back into running shape. Go big or go home right, eek? So I decided marathon training would get me there. Although unlike when I did the Winthrop marathon, I didn't want to focus just on marathon training, I wanted to bike long distances several times a week and get a hike in once a week, and continue to swim because I love those things. So training went like this: Monday, Wednesday and Friday were run days, Monday and Wednesday were before work crack of dawn or dark runs, so the afternoon I could swim, Fridays long runs, leaving Tuesday, Thursday for riding and the weekend for hiking and sometimes another ride. This would be considered "overtraining" if I had a specific time goal I wanted to accomplish. My only goal was to get my arse back to running. Check. I did it.
Along the way I realized I no longer enjoyed road running. In the last two years I have found a new love, and such enjoyment from trail running, I started to dread the runs I knew would have me running the loop and then another ten miles elsewhere. The pavement aggravated my Achilles tendinitis (an ongoing struggle), and made my hips ache. I had several very bad long training runs, in which I doubted my ability to follow through to the marathon. A few weeks before on my last final long run a 20 mile I had a good run. I decided then, yes I could do it.
Race day. I hydrated properly all week, ate my go to night before race meal, a bowl of rice and a chocolate Ensure (yep). I slept horrid the night before thinking of my 4:15 alarm and being in Leavenworth for packet pick up at 5:30. I had made my race day meal the night before eggs and rice, but the thought of it that morning made me gag. I drank a half of an Ensure to give my body something to go with, made a piece of toast with almond butter, but managed to only choke down less than half. Oh well, it's only four hours, I knew I had plenty of hydration (Skratch labs) with me and that would suffice. Things didn't feel right from the get go, but was still hoping I could get in that zen place and just enjoy running. Giving Lo and Rick (they were the best part of the morning) a kiss, off on the bus I went to the start. 300 people and 4 porta potties, not so good, but I was one of the lucky few that made it to them! The start was good, very good. Downhill for almost ten miles along the Icicle River, the smell, the sunrise, ok all is good. I've got this. Mile 7, things changed, the outer tendon in my left knee was hurting, and each step made my leg feel like it would give out. In my mind at this point I was prepared to ignore (endurance athletes are good at ignoring pain)! By the time I hit the hatchery and the sand in it (mile 10) I had become nauseas with the pain, which inevitably lead to my breathing being off causing side aches (yet another new experience for me). Made it through the first 13.1 miles in 152: a quick calculation in my head I figured I had banked a few minutes I could slow to a 9:30 and still meet my goal. Mile 16 I had slowed but still had an hour 40 to make it in at 4, this should not have been a problem. Mile 17, reality check, I hurt, as in trying to figure a way to keep moving without every step feeling like my leg was going to give out. Never have I put so much effort into actually continuing. 18-19 I am now seriously contemplating pulling out, then I see my friend Jenn, my thought goes to ok she's going to run with me and can distract me from thinking about the pain. It works for a mile, then I reevaluate my plan. To push and now make my goal is going to hurt, and for what? To quit, well then I'll be disappointed. The only option is to caring on with caution slow down, and cross the line. Jenn truly saved my bacon out there. I made it in 4:04, a somewhat respectable time. Not fast, and not what I would've liked, but finishing was the reward that day, and it was good enough for me. At the end I was happy to have completed it.
Running is funny. I run alone or on lucky occasions with Jenn in the wee hours, but when it comes to 26.2 miles it's REALLY nice to have a support team in place. Alicia was at mile nine and the finish, and just seeing her I picked up pace and got excited. Rick and Lo were there to take my arm warmers and bottle and give me my fuel belt at mile 10 and then again at mile 11 to wave me on, then again around mile 23 and the finish, I could've cried seeing them, and what motivation to continue than to have your daughter there watching. I loved that SO much, there was no way I wanted to disappoint her. I love them both so much and so grateful for their support. Then there's Jenn, in the six years I've known her she has ALWAYS been there for me, from picking me off the floor after my divorce, to celebrating new love, raising our kids and jumping in for the second time the last 7 miles of a marathon to support and encourage! Even if this wasn't the time I desired, reflecting on this, I am one very lucky and blessed lady!
Cheers to doing it, being done and sticking with trails and triathlons from here on out!
My loves and amazing support crew that got I at 4:15 to come with me. I love you!
And the girl that maybe thought she might have to physically carry me at me point. Thank you
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