K-9

He's my faithful and fiercely loyal companion. My motivation to be outside.

He's neurotic when not exercised, but calmed when he's outside. I get it. I find the purest form of peace being outside.

 

There are places I wouldn't have adventured to without him. He gives to me a sense of security.

Today I skied three miles up and three miles down a closed road on my "farm" ski's, just he and I.

He's slower these days, but he's still there. We are in tune with each other knowing what the other needs. The nine years I've had with him have truly been a gift. A part of my heart already aches for the day he is not there.....

 

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2015

We bid 2015 a fond farewell. It's been a good year.

My goal in life is simple, to spend as much time in the company of those I love. Be satisfied with each and everyday lived. 2015 was all that and some.

After the crap I went through in 2009/2010 with my Ex and my friend (at the time), I can't adequately explain what all this does to your well being, both physically and mentally. It takes a long time to fully recover. 2015 was to be that year for me. My mind is happy and calm, I have solid relationships in my life, the utmost appreciation for exactly where I am right now. Truthfully all that "crap", has made me a much better person.

I sold my house this summer, and after 4 years with Rick we moved in together. A transition I was a little worried about. After being on my own it was scary to think I could lose myself again. However, I'm with a man that I love very much, and know he loves me. This transition has been amazingly good for me and even better for my daughter. I am so happy to be in a family environment with her again. I love our life together. Having only one child home now is really quite fun. We miss my son, and he'll be back living with us in the new house, but he's an adult. He goes to college, works, pays for his things, sets his schedule. I'm responsible for only one child's schedule anymore. Our house is quiet, and I love it. I love our dinners at the table with cocktails and conversation. Evenings on the couch watching movies, it's bliss.

I use this term loosely, but have formed a new "friendship" with my ex. It's nice that he's honest about who he is and what he's done. I appreciate that and can move on. We've had a great year together in terms of co parenting, even being able to spend Christmas morning all of us together.

I no longer engage with those I don't want to. There are people I will never allow back in my life and I've made peace with that. Where as before I would try to make some sort of understanding for them, feeling compelled to answer their messages, I don't anymore. At the same time I reconnected with some wonderful people I went to school with, and can't help but feel grateful for that.

I've started practicing yoga. In large part because of the Costa Rican retreat I signed up for. I had absolutely no idea how good this practice would be for me. My goal for 2016 is to continue with this practice, better my own practice and be there at least twice a week. I love the combination of mind and body. I leave yoga, with an excitement for life.

Our holidays were spent home, I took off quite a few days and it was lovely. We are having the best winter in years. Providing plenty of snow, lots of skate skiing and snowshoeing!

Sad to say good bye to 2015, but will welcome the chance to make a great 2016

 

 

 

 

Oh and we finally set a "date" for the wedding in 2016! Stay tuned.....

 

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Just Kidding

Goodness sake I spoke too soon! The buyers of Ricks house, their buyers backed out. Rick called after a nice long hot yoga class on Saturday with "bad" news, I don't know if I was still in my "zen" mode from yoga or the fact that I had a bad feeling about the buyers buyer (we had our own issues with the same couple on Ricks house), but it didn't even phase me at this point. We are now back to a contingent offer, and really hope the people that wanted this house are able to get it. They seemed excited and were very easy to deal with, sometimes you just a have a good feeling and hope it works out for them.

Rick took it harder this time, so Sunday we did the one thing we know how to do best to alleviate stress....get outside!

We got our Nordic on at a place neither of us had skied before, less than an hour away and for a $10 day pass was one of the most beautiful Nordic trails I have ever seen. Massive snow, trees and views of Lake Chelan at every turn!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh Dear

We finally sold Ricks house and onto the new one in a month. This is our chance to start fresh.

I went to my old house recently to pick up mail. The new owners had it decorated exactly how I would've loved it. It was an eclectic mix of their life, that fit the 1920's style of the home. As much as I loved my house I had gotten into a rut with the decore as well as laziness to change anything.

The new house is perfect in every way, but I want it to represent us. I don't want a theme or certain style, with everything fitting. I want it colorful, without being obnoxious, cozy and lived in. I don't do non purpose knick knacks, I want "things" to represent who we are and where we've been.

So with the help of my daughter, months ago I started a Pinterest board.

Clearly I may need help, this is as far as I've gotten......

 

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Appreciation

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. My heart is so full and happy, I can't help but feel gratitude for what I've been through, and to see the value in all of it.

Looking back five years ago, I wanted nothing more than my husband to stay. Raise our kids and grow old together. I knew in my gut and my rational mind he was having an affair, but had he said "sorry it's done" I would've let him stay, without a doubt. This wasn't the first, and it likely wouldn't have been the last. We would've grown closer, for a few years, then he would've entered a dark unreachable hole. There would've been more lies, more broken trust, more heartache. I never would've known what it was like to love so fully, to be in a relationship where somebody takes the time to listen and understand me. With a person that makes me want to be a better person everyday. I never would've had the relationship I have now with my ex. We understand each other the better than we ever have. I appreciate the efforts he's made in the last year, as a parent and friend. It's refreshing to talk with him, instead of fight. For that I am grateful.
I was friends with a woman that was sleeping with my husband. I thank God that I no longer have someone like that in my life. There is not a single scenario I could imagine that I would EVER do that to a friend. My friends are solid, good, loving and trustworthy. They've freely given their support to me when in need, with out question or fail. As we age there will be sickness and death. They are the people I want by my side through it all. Not someone the minute there's a weakness inserts herself into your life to take for her own. I want genuine, and because of all the crap I went through I was able to see who my true friends were. My heart is full of nothing but love for those in my life.
Parenting solo, and being responsible for a house was stressful at times. Financially I was able to meet every months needs, but couldn't see beyond that. That's a pretty scary place to be in your late thirties and self employed. The house was full of surprises, and my kids at the time were 13 and 8. We went through a death of my sons friend, coming ridiculously close to failing classes, having to step up and help me with all the chores of the house, fall maintenance, winterization, getting the Christmas tree up, waking up at 6 to help shovel the long driveway, learning to drive, graduation. As stressful as times were, we were together. Step by step figuring it all out. Unbelievably we did manage to figure it out, we even renovated a bathroom, we started traveling together, having our own wacky rituals. I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I loved our five years together, they are my world, and because of all we went through our bond was only strengthened.
Now living with Rick, life has gotten easier. I have a partner again. Financially our future looks promising, together. My daughter gets to enjoy breakfast and a ride to school with him. Our animals even get more attention. I've started going to yoga. Something I have wanted to do but couldn't justify the time away in the evening from Lo or the added expense. Now I am going regularly, loving everything it does for my mind and body and feeling balanced in all areas of my life. I appreciate the ease and certainly do not take it for granted, simply amazed that it's my life. It may seem boring, but I love going grocery shopping for the family, making dinner together and getting cozy on the couch to watch a movie. Love, it's all we need.
Cheers

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Air

I got home from Iceland a week ago, and have to admit sleep has been an issue. I sleep anywhere and on most schedules pretty easily so up until this point in my life I have avoided jet lag. Well it got me this time, not horrible but I am in bed at 8pm and wide awake at 3:30. It's sorting itself out thankfully!
I am happy to report my 9 year old German Shepard that almost died last year and had been suffering terribly with arthritis is having a season filled with hiking and back up to as far as 6 mile trail runs. Last week he went out 5 days in a row. He has been by my side on all my outdoor adventures, keeping me company and easing my fears of potential predators, for years. Last year I had to accept that, that time may be over, so to be given this gift of another season with him and to see him so happy, I'll appreciate as much as I get! A large credit goes to my friend that is studying functional medicine, he's now on human supplements but it's working!

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A High

I am coming off (or more accurately still on), a travel high. That vacation was nothing less than absolutely perfect. I have exactly the same feeling I did back in October when Lo and I went to NYC. There is not a single bit of regret in me for going. There are no words to adequately explain what a wonderful time I had with my son, in a country we've both fallen in love with.

There are opportunities that arise if you open your eyes to them during hard times. Those hard times for me were my husbands affair, subsequent divorce and the financial strain of single parenting. If I really look back now and think what was it that made me hurt the most, why was I so angry, it's simple. It was not being valued enough to be told the truth. What I was given though was a stronger bond with my children. It was the three of us figuring out life, our house, our world that existed as just us. My son now 18 and doing his own thing, I've missed him. Having 6 uninterrupted days with just him was an amazing gift. This trip was truly one of the best, and I've had a lot of great trips. To be with him, but also to give him the gift of broadening his perspective through travel, is priceless (although I am glad it was a cheap deal).

On the home front, life is pretty sweet here. We've signed on the new house and now just waiting for all inspections and what not to go through. What a relief!

I saw this on Pintrest and it sounded right on...

 

 

 

 

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