Good-bye and Hello

As I reflect on 2011 I can't help but think, in a weird way, it has been one of the best years yet.  No I wouldn't have said this 9 months ago, but it has taken this whole year to get to the place I am at now.

I think back to a year ago, sitting with the kids on the Big Island, grateful to get away, but scared for what the future held.  My husband had turned into someone so  dark, and full of lies,  I no longer knew who I was.  I became a full time, single, self employed Mom, during the worst year my business had ever experienced, my Volvo refused to go in reverse, forcing me to sell it and buy a trusty Honda with a warranty, but also take on car payments at the same time I was losing dental and health benefits.  Needless to say I was a little overwhelmed!
2011 rolls around, March 1st my divorce is final, I now know the direction I am going.  I am standing on my own two feet (although wobbly at times) and I enter the dating world!  Granted dating for me happened only every other weekend (nights without kids),  my Wednesdays were still days my friends (or support group) met up, we did a lot of laughing, bashing, crying....all very therapeutic.  I took the kids and my mom on a long weekend trip back to the Bay area, a place I called home for over a year in 2000.  Reconnected with my dear college friend in Boulder, drove for the first time with another dear friend to Bend to do a half marathon and the next day two gals bike to Mt Bachelor on our own!  Shared my love of Chicago with my kids in August, got a brand new area to move my shop to in the hospital,  went on the first road trip with Rick, to Manzanita, OR, ran a marathon in 3 hours 46 minutes, took Lo to Kauai for Mother/Daughter time, and finished the year with another trip to Bend with friends and taking Lo to go visit one of her  dear friends.  I crossed things off my list that I have been wanting to do for years, I felt alive, and for the first time in so long I felt as though I was truly living and taking it all in, possibly slowing down time.

I have settled into my role as a single mother, and take absolute pride in it.  I no longer have to balance my kids happiness with someone elses.  I still, and always will look back and think things could've been different, but I am filled with the most joy and contentment in my life that I have ever felt.  My business has picked up, and I can't imagine doing anything else at this time.  My relationship with my family is stronger than ever, I have surrounded myself with the most amazing group of friends, and  the icing on the cake, my love life is excellent.  I am with a man that brings out so much good.  If feels amazing to be with someone I not only love, but can trust whole hearted.   He gets excited with the plans I make, and shares like goals and interests!  And possibly the most important, has formed an amazing relationship with my kids, takes the time to get to know them, and welcomes all the time we have with them, it's this that probably gives me the most peace.  I know how truly lucky I am.   I am so excited for what 2012 may have in store for the kids and I.
Happy New Year to All, and thank you for your love and support in 2011!

Problem? I think not!

Believe it or not I do have a 2 car garage, with a bike shop attached.  My house is divided among three floors, and the  1000 sq feet on the main floor seems like the perfect place to park a bike!  I can almost justify why each on is inside, can't really justify the fact that there are two inside Ricks house also (well 1 I can justify).

Rode this one yesterday and plan to ride it in the Yeti tomorrow, makes sense to have it handy?!

Luke's new bike and will be ridden tomorrow also

This one always gets a spot in side, I might play favorites!

This one makes sense to leave it set up, and hopefully I'll ride it each day

Staycation

Yep I finally did one of those.  I don't think I have ever taken time off and stayed home.  That might be the downside to owning a business.  But this time of year I have all kinds of help home for the shop, got organized on my week without the kids and stocked up and did the orders for everything.  I am a fan, this is great!  Normally time off with the kids equals a vacation, but since we no longer have to plan around someone else's schedule our vacations will no longer happen during the Christmas break.  We went to Seattle overnight one day, skied another.  Slept in, had peppermint hot chocolate with peppermint whipped cream for breakfast.  Weather has been amazing so got lots of running, biking and hiking in!
I love it!  Granted I love to travel and will be heading to Maui in a few weeks, and have our summer "city" trip to the big apple in the works, and tossed around a Cali trip for a few days Spring Break, but I have thoroughly enjoyed this time relaxing and taking it all in at home with my favorite people!

Day in Photo's

One of my Christmas gifts was this and boy am I having fun with it.  Lenses really do make a difference.  Thanks Mary for enlightening me!  I love taking pictures at work (just have little slow time to do so) and love taking pictures of food.  So knowing we were heading down to Iwa I packed the camera.  Here's what I got today!

Finally!

December 26th and finally got to ski the Icicle trails.  It's kind of a record year in a few ways.  Went skiing the earliest I have ever been up to Mazama the weekend after Thanksgiving, then it warmed up and dried out and have been biking all the way up until last week, which typically I throw in the towel in mid November. 
In any case the conditions were great!  I think the key for now (due to lack of snow) is to get there early right after the grooming has set.  Check out Leavenworth Winter Sports Club for current conditions.  Props to them, every year they do an amazing job with whatever mother nature gives them.
Rick got in 24 kilometers, myself 16 and Luke, well after a week of hanging watching movies, playing Xbox and eating junk (note:NOT at my house), he didn't feel so swell out there, so  made it to the back loop and turned back...maybe 6 kilometers. 

A Very Merry Christmas

Blessing were indeed abundant this year!  Children are snug in their beds with full  bellies and lots of love!  I treasure each and every Christmas I spend with them, and tonight I take comfort and find peace in the fact that I have indeed been able to spend the last 14 Christmas's with Luke and 9 with Lo, and tonight I am happy.
Too tired tonight to write much so I'll post a few pics, but the short of the story is, a relaxing Christmas eve, excitement of the morning, spending some time to enjoy all the new goodies then heading onto my parents where once again they were spoiled beyond measure!  Family, and new beginnings, Christmas this year couldn't have been more perfect.  Thank you to ALL involved, I love each and everyone of you so much!

Luke's new toy, and motivation for me to learn to MTB

Lo trying on her new goods, me trying out one of  my new Christmas presents....thanks R I LOVE it!

My Mom's ever growing stockings!

Two very cute boys!

Gram and Lo

Sister love...

Blessings All Around

T minus 4 hours until the kiddos are home with me uninterrupted for the next 12 days!!  I feel I survived and dare I say had a good week?
We ended the week with our annual "Bff" Christmas party.  I love, truly love this group of women, and  their men as well.  So this year we brought the men into the mix.  It worked something like this, ladies cocktail hour 3-4, walked to the Liberty to see The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (yes is was fabulous, but it's a must to read the book first), men at this time were meeting and going to dinner  We all met back at my house, where the men had a sock exchange (probably the most entertaining gift exchange I have ever witnessed) and ladies, an earring exchange.  We are past the point of drunken parties, and onto having beverages, food, laughter and great conversation.  Night ended at 10, yep 10, but that's why we start at 3!
Merry Christmas and Holiday Blessing to all!

My sis and her hubby joined us!

And yes she is a perfect 10!

Sisters Date

Last night I had the opportunity to get together with my dear friend that left for Atlanta this summer to go to P.A school.  Well her sister and my sister played tennis together about a lifetime ago.  So we decided we should all get together for a sisters date!

Just a few of the favorites

KB I love the mug and well this, pretty much says it all.  So touched, so grateful to call you my friend.

Lunch

Yesterday my very thoughtful man brought lunch to me at work.  This is one of our new favorite salads, have to share:
Spinach
Romaine
Kale
Black Beans
Garbanzo's
Carrots
Avocado's
Sauteed Onions (in coconut  oil)
With a little hummus dressing

Work

I know I have said it before, but I love my job.  Not sure how things truly lined up for me to be so privileged to be  in the hospital.  My motto with work has always been you do it while you enjoy it, then it's time to move on.   Eight and a half years later, I still love waking up and coming in every morning.  I love the chit chat that happens through the morning, I love making good coffee, and I love running a business.   I don't think I ever saw myself as a business owner, but can't imagine anything better!   So thank you to my extended  family at Central Washington Hospital, I love you guys!

And besides who wouldn't want to start their day out with this!

Hairy Dog

I am posting this as a reminder to myself in the future, to never get a hairy dog again.  Sure they are cute as puppies, but whats going on in these pictures is a regular occurrence.  If I don't stay on top of this, well my wood floors start to look like they are carpet.

It's beginning to look..

A lot like Christmas!  I am giddy, I love it!  I am on day 3 without the kids while they're at their Dads, and doing OK...phew!  I'm looking at it in a few ways: 1. this is the last time he will have them for a week until next year so lets just do this!  2. I need to get things wrapped and organized   3. using this time to catch up with friends (I have that rule that I don't plan anything on the nights I have the kids) 4. ample time for working out, have managed a 30 mile cross bike ride, a 2 hour hike, and today a long run and some gym time  5. and of course some one on one time cooking and relaxing with my man!
Will be exstatic to have them back, but making the best of it while they're away!

So happy to find this, I add it to my morning americano!

Girl Date

Luke's off in Seattle for a long weekend with his friends, so Lilo and I had the entire day to ourselves.  I LOVE taking the time to make a day for them on their own, put house work, friends, everything else aside and take it all in with one of the most special people in my life.  On that note I have to say I am truly blessed to have a man in my life that understands that too.  He certainly doesn't take offense to it, knows I care about him just the same, and allows me and encourages that quality time with my kids.  Thank you R, I am a lucky girl!
Asked Lilo what she wanted to do, she said bake, do nails, shop and a movie.  Sounds great, except the shopping part, I AM NOT a shopper, despise it actually.  I don't like to spend money except to travel, I don't like crowds and mayhem, and there's nothing I wouldn't be able to live without.  The only thing I can actually think of that I like buying is new bedding (which might be a little too often) and puffy coats (slight problem with great deals on Steep and Cheap).  But it ended being a good thing.  Because of her I got all the loose end gifts for Christmas finished up!  Thanks Lilo!
We ended the evening with a walk to the movie to see Arthur Christmas.  So fun, and girl if you read this, I had the best day ever, love you bunches bella cakes!

No pictures of our night walk to the movie (we were too bundled up), but there you have it, a girl date!

A little here a little there

I was thinking about what I like most about my friend Jessica's blog, and it's her honest approach.  Through my blog I have met many great people, and throughout this divorce journey received emails, FB messages and so on with support, and sharing of stories.  All very much appreciated.  That being said I should also share an ugly side of me that came out Thursday night.  It's no secret I don't like my ex.  I won't go into the long list why, but he knows how to get under my skin, and he does.  Well a combination of being tired, PMS, and the fact the kids will be gone for a week, I felt hatred towards him...yep I did.  I unleashed and told him so.  The crappy thing is I was so upset with my behavior after, and my lack of control to keep myself from saying it.  It seriously does no good, and accomplishes nothing with this man, not to mention I have to endure his smug response...great.
I think you all know my strong bond with my kids.  The hatred I felt towards the ex at that moment stems from what I consider selfish choices he made, that has lead me to missing a week at Christmas with my kids.  I know I should consider myself lucky to be in this situation and to have my kids majority of the time, I get it!   But above all else I am a Mother first, my first priority, and the greatest joy in my life is the two amazing kids I raise, and I want them everyday!  Truly baffles me, the mothers that are ok giving up so much of their time with their kids.   I am lucky to surround myself with such strong woman.  They are wonderful, dedicated mothers, they get it when I am upset at the "ex"!

There you have it, my "not so" calm, cool and collected moment!
And not my most proud moment!

New kid in Town

Last night we took the kids  to Fuji Yama the new Japanese hibachi and sushi restaurant.   It was fun!
Verdict was it was good, the hibachi part is fun, sushi I will probably stick to Iwa because I like the atmosphere.  Lo loved it, Luke thought it was neat to see for the first time, but did say he doesn't like to be bothered while dining out....

Yellowtail Jalapeno

Closest one it the House Special..tasty fella

Luke had  hibachi steak, Lo hibachi salmon

Back in Action

My loyal running buddy is back!  He's been missed!  When he threw his back out in October and I worried that may be it for my 5 year old German Shepard.  He was so bad at one point he couldn't make it up the stairs in my house, or in the back of the car without being lifted.  This last month he's gone snow shoeing and hiking with us, and then back to the house for ibuprofen, I'd noticed a little  stiffness after.  Last week I  saw significant improvement so I thought I'd give it a go today.  I still won't be taking him on my long runs anytime soon, but today he went on a 6.5 mile run , tail wagging, and pretty sure he was smiling the whole way.  Tonight no problem getting around and he's sleeping sound!
I have to say I am in somewhat of a "rest period" before gearing up for next season, so have been rather enjoying my comfortable long (and tempo) runs at a 8:35-8:45 pace.  I forgot how much faster I go running with my off leash four legged companion, he constantly gives me the "is that all you've got for me " look.  Today was 6.5 mile in 53.03 (8:09 mm)

Shocking, but more Bend fun!

In between watching races, we hung out at an amazing house in Mt Bachelor Village, shopped, ate and best of all we ran miles of trail running each day.   Rick got in some amazing rides, we both felt so energized to be outside in the sun, in one of the most beautiful areas.   That and surrounding ourselves with wonderful friends and great (candid) conversations.  Truly a great getaway, and plans were made for our next trip!

Breakfast Friday morning with my girl

Kitchen fun with friends

May have had an hour and a half wait to get a table, so enjoyed a beverage on the out door patio.  And yes I have two coats!

Inside for good food and beer, 10 Barrel is a must

Lo had the MOST amazing time hanging with her dear friend.

Cyclocross Groupies!

Ok I know I raved about Bend last post, but I love it.  To add to the loving it, I love to watch friends cyclocross race!  Our friend Alex raced in the beginner, the guy has the best attitude out of anyone I know.  His wife and I were chatting about it,  neither of us will do a race unless we know we are going to do well.  Seems silly I know, but I have made peace with it, I don't have fun unless I know I have trained well and gave it my all.  Alex on the other hand, he's happy to just be there!
Our other friend Jason raced Masters 35-45, a tough division.  He rocked it!  In the call up he was placed in the 29th spot, they race 45 minutes and he finished 11th, hard and amazing!   Here's a few photo's from the event!

More goupies!

A very cute groupie and her very cute racer husband

Go Alex!

Old Mill District

Another cute groupie and her husband. 

Go Jason!

Today vs. Yesterday

Oh how I love Bend!  Yesterday my workout looked something like this:  a 1.25 mile warmup jog, 10x400 at a 7.25 pace with a 90 second jog in between at a 8.15, then a 1.25 cool down.  To make matters worse, this was done on a treadmill (6.5 miles).   Today I did a leisure 6 mile run (average 8.40 pace) and just took it all in.  We are staying 2.25 miles from the Old Mill District.  Trails connect to the river everywhere.  I did not run with the camera, walked back down with it!