Good-bye and Hello

As I reflect on 2011 I can't help but think, in a weird way, it has been one of the best years yet.  No I wouldn't have said this 9 months ago, but it has taken this whole year to get to the place I am at now.

I think back to a year ago, sitting with the kids on the Big Island, grateful to get away, but scared for what the future held.  My husband had turned into someone so  dark, and full of lies,  I no longer knew who I was.  I became a full time, single, self employed Mom, during the worst year my business had ever experienced, my Volvo refused to go in reverse, forcing me to sell it and buy a trusty Honda with a warranty, but also take on car payments at the same time I was losing dental and health benefits.  Needless to say I was a little overwhelmed!
2011 rolls around, March 1st my divorce is final, I now know the direction I am going.  I am standing on my own two feet (although wobbly at times) and I enter the dating world!  Granted dating for me happened only every other weekend (nights without kids),  my Wednesdays were still days my friends (or support group) met up, we did a lot of laughing, bashing, crying....all very therapeutic.  I took the kids and my mom on a long weekend trip back to the Bay area, a place I called home for over a year in 2000.  Reconnected with my dear college friend in Boulder, drove for the first time with another dear friend to Bend to do a half marathon and the next day two gals bike to Mt Bachelor on our own!  Shared my love of Chicago with my kids in August, got a brand new area to move my shop to in the hospital,  went on the first road trip with Rick, to Manzanita, OR, ran a marathon in 3 hours 46 minutes, took Lo to Kauai for Mother/Daughter time, and finished the year with another trip to Bend with friends and taking Lo to go visit one of her  dear friends.  I crossed things off my list that I have been wanting to do for years, I felt alive, and for the first time in so long I felt as though I was truly living and taking it all in, possibly slowing down time.

I have settled into my role as a single mother, and take absolute pride in it.  I no longer have to balance my kids happiness with someone elses.  I still, and always will look back and think things could've been different, but I am filled with the most joy and contentment in my life that I have ever felt.  My business has picked up, and I can't imagine doing anything else at this time.  My relationship with my family is stronger than ever, I have surrounded myself with the most amazing group of friends, and  the icing on the cake, my love life is excellent.  I am with a man that brings out so much good.  If feels amazing to be with someone I not only love, but can trust whole hearted.   He gets excited with the plans I make, and shares like goals and interests!  And possibly the most important, has formed an amazing relationship with my kids, takes the time to get to know them, and welcomes all the time we have with them, it's this that probably gives me the most peace.  I know how truly lucky I am.   I am so excited for what 2012 may have in store for the kids and I.
Happy New Year to All, and thank you for your love and support in 2011!