Work Hard/ Play Hard

I believe this in all areas of my life. I like working hard, and enjoying the benefits of hard work.

Playing hard for me is not, the wild raging party type, but traveling.

There's a benefit to being self employed, not having to ask for time off, however it also means I need to have adequate coverage, which typically means while I am gone my employees put in a lot of hours. To help offset that, prior and after vacation I put serious time in. This includes getting the place stocked, ordereds placed with venders, and payrol done..... However the minute I am book in hand on the plane I'm as relaxed as can be (the benefit to the hard work of making sure everything is taken care of).

Now time for a little Kauai fun

Having time this am for a run with him!

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Subtle (or not so subtle) Reminders

An incident happened last week that reminded me how far, and how nice my life has become in the last few years.   At the time of my divorce I couldn't have imagined wanting anything other than the life I was losing, but that's because it was all I knew.   I was terrified  of going forward, I liked the comfort and familiarity I had, even if it was chaotic.  I was forced out of my comfort.  I repeated Jeremiah 29:11 daily,  often when I was sad and it brought me comfort.  As well as leaned heavily on my friends.   Eventually the realization came that it was time to recreate my life, my parenting, work, relationships, everything, but this time the way I wanted.   I opened both my heart and mind to possibilities.   I am grateful I've had the chance to experience this new life and love.

I 've learned so much from my boyfriend and our relationship.   There's a lightness in me I can't describe.   I love him with my whole heart.  I admire and respect him, I trust AND listen to him.   He is good, and he makes me good.    My day is no longer consumed with anxiety or worry.   That ugly word (jealousy) doesn't exist.  There's honesty and love in his eyes.  There's no fighting, it just doesn't happen (perhaps I was delusional to believe that was actually healthy), I can talk to this man about anything, and in any mood I may be in.   He doesn't always agree with me, but as I have learned from him, it's not always what you say but how you say it.  If it's something he doesn't agree with, he has a way of talking to me that I don't get defensive, but actually hear him out.   I have always believed communication is huge in a relationship, but didn't know how to communicate.  Yet, when it's right, it comes naturally.
I like the way I handle situations now.  I know myself better now.   I no longer engage in a situations where I may not be able to keep my cool, and perhaps say something I regret later.   I'm much more calm than I was a few years ago, when I'd let emotion get the best of me.   It's helped immensely in co-parenting, which I still find the hardest part of divorce.  It's taken a few years, but I actually feel like my ex and I are doing ok in our co-parenting roles.  We both love our kids, and our kids love us. We aren't friends (we don't need to be) but we have a good "working" relationship.   We communicate only when it relates to the kids, I prefer text or email, and have a tendency to shoot a txt when I think of it, as though I am relieving myself of having to remember to tell him.  He keeps it to a M-F, 8-5 thing.  It's not the way I'd like, but it works.  I know I will get a call with an answer to whatever I had texted, then I  follow up with an email just confirming our conversation.   We both do what works for each of us in our lives now, for the kids.   We mostly stick to our plan, unless something special is going on, in which we negotiate.....it is what it is.  Not always ideal, but  it seems to work, for our kids.
While the "incident" I mentioned was unnecessary,  it did give me a clear reminder, that the life I have been able to create these last few years, is exactly where I want to be.   If you find yourself in that area of uncertainty, know there is a "plan for you", it will get better!  Cheers to getting to knowing oneself!

His.Best. Day. Ever.

At eleven years old, we let the Basset hound run with us in a race. Yes run. Run Wenatchee had the bundle up run today benefitting the WHS XC and track programs. I entertained the idea this morning, but then almost backed out of taking Obie, he's a hound after all, the dog stops to smell and pee more than any other! Thankfully Lo insisted, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten to experience his best day ever!

We walked down from our house with some friends, this started the excitement, got to the crowds, people were laughing when they realized he was doing the race, but it didn't hurt his pride, he was ready for them to witness his fitness. We started at the very back so he wouldn't get in the way, but we quickly passed a lot of people (all who were in disbelief), comments were being said about not wanting to lose to a Basset, some were commenting they had never seen one that wasn't fat, others just laughed as we ran by! By the time we hit the turn around, he needed to catch his breath and walk through the aid station, this is when Lo came up with the plan for the remainder of the run to walk the uphills and run the flat and downs (for Obie of course ;) ). After the turn around, the Basset became somewhat of a goodwill ambassador to others, spreading encouragement. This time we heard, "if he can do it I can too", others cheared him on, telling him "he was almost done". It was awesome. I of course was super proud of Lo too, as always she was a trooper, no complaining about walking down, and was an awesome runner, but I think both of us were so happy and proud of Obie, he did his first 5k race, and everyone got to witness this bassets fitness!

 

 

 

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What?!

I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) that thinks (perhaps because she just won a dance competition) it would be a GREAT idea for all girls to take adult hip hop.  I think she's crazy.  For the last 24 hours the conversation and attempts of persuasion have been hilarious, this video from one of our other friends just popped up.  If you want to laugh, check it out!
Funny Dance Tutorial

Fresh Air

I had every intention of heading to the pool today, but in my line of work running out of white chocolate means the need get some ASAP ( yes it's that big of a deal, think 25lbs a week). Between work and there I needed to run into my house and grab the resellers permit because the place I was going needed a current one on file, too many things on my mind I grabbed it, my purse, phone and headed out the door, no keys....now locked out. Thank you BF for leaving work to rescue me, yet again. Now all plans for swimming are gone, my window to do anything is shrinking rapidly. Was downright grumpy by the time I got home. As I do with most problems I like to sweat it out, hopped on the trainer and set my stopwatch to do intervals (while watching the Tudors), still wasn'tfeeling great (super gloomy here the last few days too, a huge part of my problem). The answer was gathering my people after they got home from school, the dogs and making the quick jaunt up SaddleRock. Low and behold we all felt better. More energized and as always a great reminder of how great just spending time together is. Plus, we had very happy dogs! Fresh air was all that as needed, for us all!

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Comfort Zone

This girl amazes me in every way! This winter she said she wanted to learn to downhill. At 11 years old she wants to give it a go. I love that she is comfortable enough with herself to do things outside of her comfort level.

Well we've had the lesson package for over a month, and since there was no school today I thought it'd be the perfect day. It took a little arm twisting, then a little meltdown (we borrowed ski clothes and didn't try them on until right before needless to say she was swimming in them), managed to cinche up the pants, put layers under the coat, and reassured her she wouldn't be with the 4 and 5 year olds (although I was wondering that myself), we made it. She did it, and was a great sport. The staff was wonderful, great experience, and best of all she got a taste of it, now gets to decide for herself if this is something she wants to continue or not. Love her!

Back at the lodge, I was not humoring my oldest with attempts at selfie's

 

 

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Motivation and Goals

I am a little behind coming up with my race/fitness goals for 2014. By now I've usually had my calendar out and figured out what races do and don't work. The only for sure one is another 70.3 triathlon, it's the first week of June so that means actual training for it will start in February (thank goodness). This will allow me the whole summer free with the kids, the downside with an early June race is the cold unpredictable waters conditions,yikes! There's a coule of trail runs, another Tri and potentially a Fondo I am interested in. Two years ago a friend and I trained for the Fondo, even rode the course only to wake up to snow that morning. I will ride in cold crappy conditions, but not for 80 miles. Last year I had the kids that weekend, another thing I balance. I won't sign up for any race that takes longer than an hour on the weekends I have my kids, for me it's just not worth it. Every other weekend they are at their Dads, leaving plenty of time to fit other races in.

 

Now for motivation, it's lacking. I miss that break in the winter when I get to skate ski, instead of cycling. Don't get me wrong I love to bike, its my favorite, however I like varietation. I had a window to ride today, seriously contemplated inside because this is what it looked like outside:

Not only dreary but 30 degrees. I went and managed to enjoy it, riding31 miles

But.....spent the next two hours trying to get warm after I got home!

 

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Bloggers

I finally updated a list of some of the blogs I read (to the right of this page), in case you want to check them out!  The beauty of blogging, it's not in your face, seek it out and read it if you like, if not, then don't.
I started blogging after following my sisters blog for almost a year.  Her blog is about her, and her life.  Even though we talk regularly, I loved coming home from a busy day at work and sitting down to the computer to read the newest entry, and see pictures of my adorable nephew (and of course her dogs).   I am an avid reader, and personally I'd rather read about people I know, their joys, triumphs, and tribulations, than to tune into reality t.v.
Through blogging I was able to reconnect with an old tennis buddy, see her beautiful kids and follow her career as an AP sports writer in the Bay area.  I met another blogging buddy at a half marathon in Sunriver, I had been following her blog, but had never met her, and there we both were in Sunriver.  Another I met one day at church, when she was home visiting family (and again at an airport in Hawaii).  I follow my friend Sarah as she details her training up and downs (often drawing motivation from her posts), my other friend Sarah as she built her house,  and even though my sister and I live in the same town I still check hers often.  There are many more.  It is my social network of choice.  I blog.  I started it as a means to keep people informed in my life.  I work in customer service, and see hundreds of people every morning (most of which I would consider a friend),   they would often ask about me and the kids, blogging was the easiest and most efficient way to update those that wanted to know.  I am better at writing my thoughts and feelings out than verbally communicating them.  This came in handy when I was going through a divorce, everyone asked and wanted to know how I was doing, because they cared, but work was my escape and I just couldn't get into it there, so again I blogged.  This isn't for everyone, to put yourself and your life out there, but I made the decision to open my life up to you (I  recently changed my blog address to respect my sons privacy, if you remember my last name was in the address, removing that makes it harder for people to look him up).   For those that check it, I hope you enjoy it.  I don't think my life is that interesting, but it is my life and I love it, and well for those that don't, somehow you are curious enough to seek it out, so take from it what you will.

Moments

There are moments that bring me to tears that kind of surprise me. Last night was one of them. One of my best friends participated in Wenatchee's Dancing with the Stars. This is something I know without a doubt I wouldn't do. To learn a dance in a week, wear a skimpy costume in front of 500 people that you've likely seen at some point, being susceptible to the judgement of others, yikes it's enough to make me nauseous, but she did it, and did it well, in fact ALL six contestants were amazing! Cheers to my friend for going out of her comfort zone and putting herself out there, couldn't be more proud.

If you'd like to read about her experience, she is a very talented and funny writer checked out her blog  http://www.jenniferkorfiatis.com/

 

Oh did I mention she took home the trophy?!

(It's a little blurry, too much excitement)

 

 

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FRIDAY

Favorite way to start my Friday

They say home is where the heart is, my heart is here

 

 

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Hound Dog

Clearly I have a favorite dog, or at least one I take and do everything with, Kaiser my german Shepard. He is the best, easy, rides well in a car, loyal, can be off leashed...a dream. Then I have my hound dog, warning to potential hound owners: they have some issues! We adopted Obie when he was 2 from the humane society (more like I insisted we NEEDED to give him a home), nine years ago. He is awfully cute (when he's asleep), I feel like I have paid my dues as far as proving I am a responsible dog owner, after all I've kept him! The pros to Obie, he's extremely agile (however this is sometimes a con), he loves all people and animals, no dog ever seems threatened by him, he sleeps a solid nine hours. The cons; he's not loyal, will go with anyone one, doesn't listen, stubborn, steals food, he has been bailed out of doggie jail 3 times, cries non stop when he's awake if he's outside, cries nonstop if he's inside, snores loudly, at 6 inches off the ground but 65lbs he doesn't fit into the big dog or small dog or any world for that matter, oh he cries in the car too!

Because of the last issue we rarely take him anywhere, poor Lo sits in the backseat and has to deal with it. Yesterday however, my body was telling me it's a rest day (Achilles was super tight), but I really wanted to be outside. Loaded both Obie and Kaiser up and off we went to walk SaddleRock. It was crappy weather out so I knew not too many people would be out, Obie got to be free and happy, it was a wonderful time, and every now and then I totally love that little fella!

 

 

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Early Morning Here We Come

The stay cation is done. It was very nice, something I have wanted (needed) to do for a longtime. Financially it hasn't been in the cards the last few years, but with everything seemingly under control this year I went for it.  My son will be 18 in just over a year, this is my measure of how fast time escapes us. 

We pretty much didn't even leave the house the first two days, stayed up late watched movies and slept in! Thursday I had a daughter date with Lo to Seattle, we stayed at a great hotel downtown, she shopped (I followed) then went to Evita. I used to drag my ex to Broadway plays, and he was a good sport, but pretty sure this as nowhere near the top of his list, so to have someone that gets as excited as I do, and thoroughly enjoys everything from getting dressed up, to the applauding of the performers at the end of the show is such a treat!

 

After an 8 day running streak (added the stepmill on a few days for some excitement) I got back on my bike Saturday and went for an ok ride. I was a little gun shy on the patches that looked icy, but managed to fit my brace over my gloved hand, granted I can't brake or shift with my left hand yet, it mearly rests on the bars, but 11 days after crashing and fracturing my hand I am back. I have never ran that much in a row before and was ready for variety. I can't lift for at least another week, but may give the pool a try this week. The dogs have fully benefited from this accident! It's gorgeous here, but would be nice to have so little snow!

 

 

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With Open Arms

2013 was pretty dang good, and set the bar high for 2014! I closed the year with our annual tradition (although my son is old enough to have other plans), a New Year's Eve movie. Lo, Rick and I saw Saving Mr Banks (fabulous by the way), I looked over at Rick at one point and just had a moment of, seriously how great is this guy. I love spending New Years with my kids, it's just my thing. I have no desire to go out spend a lot of money, drink so much that I feel like crap the next day, nope the mellow life is for me. This was Ricks third NYE partaking in our tradition, the fact that he is content and happy with this, I am one very lucky girl. We then went and rung in the New Year with our best friends, kids playing in the basements, men standing around discussing bikes and race goals for the year, woman discussing the fact that we are a unique (and patient) group of bike widows, meaning we are all used to the fact that our men disappear into the hills riding for hours and hours, yet we get it, and love them for it!

Entirely satisfied with my travels for 2013, and looking forward to some very BIG plans in 2014, free of car payments, and credit card debt, so happy with how busy work is, my kids are just truly amazing beings, loving my house and raising the kids just the way I want, very much in love with the most wonderful man, have the best friends and greatest family. Thank you 2013 for a content heart! Cheers to 2014!

New Years Eve Selfie

With the exception of a few that were ringing the year in, in Hawaii, couldn't imagine a better group of ladies to say good bye to 2013 and hello to 2014 with!

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Happy is the Heart

Finally getting to my Christmas post. Four Christmas's ago (2010) I spent in Hawaii with my kids, they were 13 and 8, I was newly single, scared and confused. I remember waking up that Christmas morning with a heaviness, not because my ex wasn't there, but in two Christmas's (2012) I would have to wake up for the first time on a Christmas morning without my kids. This is the reality of divorce, the reality forced upon some because of others "needs" . THIS broke my heart that morning, looking at my kids, the excitement that Christmas had arrived, messy bed heads, in jammies, innocent, pure excitement. This is my favorite day, to be a part of with my kids. Well last year came and went and I survived, we spent 11 days prior to Christmas in Hawaii just being together, for the first time in their 10 and 15 years I wasn't there when they woke up that Christmas morning. People say you can make Christmas whenever, that is only part true, you do what you need to because you have to, but that day will still arrive and it will still hurt.

I guess in a way (being the divorce rate in this country for first marriages is 50%), I am lucky to have gotten to wake-up for 10 and 15 years every Christmas morning with them. What I couldn't have imagined then, is that possibly one of my best Christmas's was yet to come.

This Christmas goes down as one of my favorites. It was perfect, it wasn't grand and filled with greed. It was a relaxed and wonderful day spent dedicated to my family. It is amazing having Rick be a part of our little family (I may add, he was also the first one up ;) ) the four of us sitting by the fire all cozy taking our time opening sockings and gifts and appreciating the thoughtfulness that went into each, we lounged, talked and laughed, just the four of us. That afternoon, we all cooked and prepared our dinner for the family together (my son is now a master pigs in a blanket chef), my family came over and we spent the next six hours enjoying each other. It was the most relaxed wonderful Christmas ever! You could feel the energy, the appreciation of one another and having that time. My 86 year old Grandmother was with us, and as sad as it is, I know our years all together are limited, but it makes my heart happy that we realize this and take the time to be together on these special days.

I would've thought my best Christmas's would've been spent while I was married, but this is not the case. Those were stressful years, spent trying to cram both families time in, running from place to place and never devoting enough time to anyone.

With Ricks family taking the time to be together at Thanksgiving and me getting the time with my family at Christmas, truly makes my heart happy. The kids and I talked about what a great year it was, they got amazing gifts (my parents have a tendency to really spoil them), but it wasn't about that, it was the relaxed comforting time spent with family.

The completion of assembling the Christmas present

My gorgeous little miss all dressed up for the day

In her element holding Emmie

The annual gift from my dad to my son, a Barbie

 

 

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