It doesn't get easier. My kids have been with me the last three weekends in a row, this weekend they go back to the usual everyother weekend rotation to their Dads. My heart hurts. I truly don't know how some moms do it, only parenting a couple days a week. I couldn't do it. I cherish everyday after school making Lo her afternoon snack. I love a "normal" home life routine, not having to try to fit it all in right now, because next weekend they won't be with me. I don't like this. Times like this I am angry at my Ex for being a .........
Perhaps this upcoming weekend parting is in part to the 9/11 anniversary. That day is still so raw and etched into my memory. I remember snuggling my four year old son on the couch watching the events unfold on our tv with little reception. I remember sobbing when it became clear commercial airliners were used, two being my former employer United. Calling my United roommates because United had locked the computers so we couldn't check trip list to make sure they were safe. Being so, SO very grateful I had a supportive husband to let me work part time so I could be home with our son, at that moment never wanting to leave him. Wondering what kind of world I would bring my unborn child into in a few short months. Being scared for them. This was a defining moment in parenting for me. Priorities were crystal clear. I needed to be with the ones I loved as much as I could, and protect them at all times possible. My son was oblivious to the horrors on television although a bit confused as to why mom was crying so much. I remember wanting to do everything in my power to never allow either of my kids to feel the fear we all felt that day. On this day, in honor of the heroes on UAL Flight 93, and all those others that paid the ultimate sacrifice that day, I remember ...
Maybe that's why I am the way I am. I will never regret spending too much time with them, I know this. I know it will be fine this weekend, but I will miss them......
In other news and something that brings me so much joy. Rick hung my Mother's Day present. This was a quote that got me through some scary times, now looking at it daily I feel strong and proud of all I've done
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