18. How in the world did it go this fast? It's truly bittersweet, but more sweet. My heart has an ache that I blinked and your youth was over. At the same time, I am in awe of you every single day, and so proud of the child you were and the young adult you are becoming.
That day 18 years ago, went a little like this (better tell it before I forget it). Your due date was April 27th, so while at work on April 10th with ridiculous back pain it didn't really cross my mind that I might be in labor, more so that I was being a huge wuss and I better suck up the discomfort now because I'd be in a world of hurt in three weeks!
I went home and after my mom urging I called the clinic, they put my mind to ease that it was highly unlikely I was in labor, likely Braxton Hicks contractions. Needless to say the pain got worse so I paged your Dad (yep, that's what we did in 1997, before a cell phone). I didn't hear from him for a while (again because it's unlikely I am in labor). He shows up, again at the urging of my Mom we went to the hospital, I told her we'd call in a bit. We arrive at 7:40, by now I feel like crap, and little did I know my parents decided they better head over too. I can hardly walk my back hurt so bad, there's no way I can check in, so they got a room for me and brought the papers to Lars, after checking me and I am dilated to a 9 or 10 (see I've forgotten) it's go time apparently. My doctor was there for a scheduled c section so he put that on hold broke my water and you were delivered at 8:08 pm, 28 minutes after walking into the hospital.
Quite honestly it was awesome. The love that I felt in that moment for you was the most intense, protective love I have ever felt in my life. A couple hours later there was a "problem", you stopped breathing, for the second time. Within in a couple hours I felt the strongest love possible and all of a sudden the most fear I had ever felt in my life. After 3 days and a cat scan, it was determined you had a sub dermal hematoma caused from the fast birth hitting your head on the way out, you would be fine. I vowed then and there I would always have you close by, and protect you with my life.
There has been ups and downs in the last 18 years in my personal life, but the one constant was you. Your Dad came and went a few times, but I thank God everyday he never fought me on where you lived. This is something looking back I appreciate immensely. We grew up together. We cut things out early in life, material things, so we could live simply and appreciate using our minds and searching for adventure. You motivated me in my professional and personal life, you are the reason (and your sister), everyday I want to be a better person than the last. You are one truly amazing gift, and while I hate the time has flown by, I have enjoyed every single moment being your mom and raising you. Now I look forward to what this new chapter will bring, and what my role in it will be.
I love you, to the sun, moon, stars beyond and back and much much more.
Posted with Blogsy
No comments:
Post a Comment