Friday, May 15, 2015

Mini Farm

Three dogs (a cat and a rat), it's a bit too much. I'm pretty sure I will never have this many again. It's time consuming, we walk Joey and Obie together, Kaiser can't run as much now but still has ridiculous energy so we go on park dates daily. All that being said, I love them all.
Joey has adjusted perfectly, he is by far the easiest dog I have ever owned. He's skittish and scared of people he doesn't know, but at home he is sweet, cuddly and playful. His favorite thing in this world appears to be the "kitty", first thing in the morning he always acts shocked to see her again! He has asserted his dominance over Kaiser, which is kind of sad, but cute.
Beyond all that, everyday he is a reminder of my friend Kay. That she trusted us to love him and give him a home. I look at him and I know we share her. I miss her daily, there hasn't been a day gone by that I don't wish I could talk to her in the morning. There's been so many changes at the hospital, and I so wish she were here to give me her advice. I miss updating her on Logan's happenings, or sharing with her my sons plans after graduation. She was sick for so long, but you would never have known how sick. Yet she was living everyday, and I mistakenly believed she would continue to be ok, then one day she wasn't, and before I knew it, or could say good bye she was gone. Somehow having Joey here makes all that saddness a little easier, we love him so much.
 
 
The rat pack (of sorts)
 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

My Day

Being a Mom is by far the greatest job I have had. I've loved all eighteen years of being a parent. I have never felt it was a sacrifice to give up time doing other things to be with my children, rather a privilege.
Sharing them the last four years with a man that values my role as a mother, well that just makes me pretty lucky.
Thank you my loves for an amazing day, out doing what I love. You three hold my heart.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

The deleted blog

Sometimes I blog, for me. It helps me sort my thoughts, and process negative ones to move on. I had worked on a blog post titled The Other Woman, for almost two months. It is exactly what you think it's about. I should mention my ex husband and I are NOW in a very good place, in large part because of an apology along with the truth of what happened while we were married that lead to the end of our marriage. I appreciated this, and him explaining his side. What I still couldn't wrap my head around was, "her", she was a friend, and she had an affair with my husband, then lied, and lied and created even more lies. So I wrote a blog to process it. I wrote it and then periodically when I had time I'd reread, ask myself what I was trying to get across, edit and save, for two months. Saturday I posted it, for all of fifteen minutes, then took it down.
At the end of the day, I will never be able to understand why she did what she did, I will also never respect her, or be friends with her again. She stayed with her husband, and I'm am glad for him and their kids. Writing that post however allowed me clarity. It was hard to write, even harder to adequately put my feelings into words. There will never be the Other Woman post published. It will forever remain archived, because sometimes you need to write things for only your eyes to see. Then shut that door for good.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Couldn't say it Better

I'm attaching a link to my friends blog, about an up coming adventure we will be going on. I get giddy with the thought! However, she's funnier than I am so I'll share her version!
 

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Veg Life

I get asked a lot about what good recipes I have, what I eat as a vegetarian (more correctly pescatarian, I eat fish on occasion). I'm always a little dumbfounded, 1. because I have some pretty bad eating habits, and 2. because I am not a great cook, nothing ever stands out in my mind as the "awesome" meal.
I haven't ate meat for over 15 years, this is not a diet for me. It's a way of life, it's what I've done for so long I don't think about it.
It all started back when I went to training for 6 weeks at Uniteds head quarters in Elk Grove, IL. I knew I would be living in a dorm like setting with cafeteria food, while going to class six days a week, leaving little time for working out. I didn't want to pack on the "freshman" 15 (in six weeks) so to speak so I needed a plan. I've never really cared for meat, I'd eat it as a kid because I had too, but I much preferred hamburgers, without the meat. I've never liked pork and well chicken I ate for protein but never craved it, so I decided for six weeks I would become vegetarian, this would keep things pretty simple and limit lunch and dinner to the salad bar and sides. Long story short, I never went back to meat, I didn't miss it.
That being said, present day. My kids at my house eat mostly vegetarian, our main staple in our house is salad for dinner.   I've found you can turn any of the favorite classic meals into a salad. Taco, fajita, we do cob, roasted veggies, leftovers thrown on lettuce, you name it, we throw it over lettuce and call it dinner.
I never eat breakfast, I've worked early for so many years I just drink coffee in the am (here's where the bad habits come in), it's not good, I know. Lunch is my go to, my main meal of the day. I love coming home from work sitting down vedging for a bit and eating lunch. I'm a big rice eater, it's in the rice cooker a lot, so a typical lunch for me is rice, tomatoes, cucumbers and salt, all mixed up together. I also roast cauliflower, broccoli and brussel sprouts on a pan everyother night so, often that gets heated up and thrown over rice the next day. All this is good and healthy, but I have a ridiculous sweet tooth.....like GIVE ME sugar. When, I am being good (and it's not a holiday) I eat apples or blueberries to curb it. Unfortunalty Easter was just here, and I have consumed my fair share (and some) of peeps, cad berry eggs, various M&Ms, it's bad. Where I use to fluctuate 5 lbs. This last year (basically the moment I turned 37) I noticed I don't really fluctuate any more, I just add. A very big DANG IT! I know what I need to do to keep the love handles and muffin top off, cut the crap in my eating. So this week I am trying to get back to mindful eating. I know how I feel eating fruits, veggies and rice (the only real grain I eat), much better than my sweet treats!
 
Since I can't offer much as for recipes I will say a few things, I do enjoy. As a side I often lightly steam up kale, swiss chard and other hearty greens, add a little basil and the flavor is delicious, Lo requests "greens" a lot. (Below is a mix from Costco, I throw out the sauce bag and just steam)
 
Probably my favorite food to use is spaghetti squash. Basically I treat it as a vehicle for all the other delicious veggies. I like to throw in broccoli, peppers, onions, and tomatoes mix with a little pesto, eat warm at dinner and cold the next day for lunch. Good stuff!
It also helps having a garden, I have my starts going and I get excited to harvest food. My whole goal when I cook is to use foods we like the taste of. I tried to avoid sauces (with the exception of pesto, that I make) and flavor everything with different foods.
Born apetite!
 

Monday, April 20, 2015

Kai

Two years ago Kaisers back end started giving out. X-rays showed pretty bad arthritis, rather unfortunate for a dog of 6 1/2 . I've know my running buddy has been on borrowed time, but each new season hope for the best. Last year he made it to both Valhalla and Minotaur with us ( his favorite hikes), but these last few weeks haven't been kind to him. He's requiring more of his rimadyl and Tramadol. I took him out early this am, with the plan to let him gauge how far we go, we made it a mile before his legs were failing him, we did a slow walk/run back. This is when it dawned on me, this may be harder for me to accept. I started running in 2008, and so did he. As long as I've run, I've had him. He's trained for two marathons with me (last years he was in on the shorter runs), been my sunrise and trail buddy. I have loved these last seven years of learning this new sport with him. Days when it's gloomy and I'm tired from work, he's been my motivation. Breaks my heart a bit to thi of going out with out him.
 
My pack
 
 
 

Saturday, April 11, 2015

An Adult

18. How in the world did it go this fast? It's truly bittersweet, but more sweet. My heart has an ache that I blinked and your youth was over. At the same time, I am in awe of you every single day, and so proud of the child you were and the young adult you are becoming.
That day 18 years ago, went a little like this (better tell it before I forget it). Your due date was April 27th, so while at work on April 10th with ridiculous back pain it didn't really cross my mind that I might be in labor, more so that I was being a huge wuss and I better suck up the discomfort now because I'd be in a world of hurt in three weeks!
I went home and after my mom urging I called the clinic, they put my mind to ease that it was highly unlikely I was in labor, likely Braxton Hicks contractions. Needless to say the pain got worse so I paged your Dad (yep, that's what we did in 1997, before a cell phone). I didn't hear from him for a while (again because it's unlikely I am in labor). He shows up, again at the urging of my Mom we went to the hospital, I told her we'd call in a bit. We arrive at 7:40, by now I feel like crap, and little did I know my parents decided they better head over too. I can hardly walk my back hurt so bad, there's no way I can check in, so they got a room for me and brought the papers to Lars, after checking me and I am dilated to a 9 or 10 (see I've forgotten) it's go time apparently. My doctor was there for a scheduled c section so he put that on hold broke my water and you were delivered at 8:08 pm, 28 minutes after walking into the hospital.
Quite honestly it was awesome. The love that I felt in that moment for you was the most intense, protective love I have ever felt in my life. A couple hours later there was a "problem", you stopped breathing, for the second time. Within in a couple hours I felt the strongest love possible and all of a sudden the most fear I had ever felt in my life. After 3 days and a cat scan, it was determined you had a sub dermal hematoma caused from the fast birth hitting your head on the way out, you would be fine. I vowed then and there I would always have you close by, and protect you with my life.
There has been ups and downs in the last 18 years in my personal life, but the one constant was you. Your Dad came and went a few times, but I thank God everyday he never fought me on where you lived. This is something looking back I appreciate immensely. We grew up together. We cut things out early in life, material things, so we could live simply and appreciate using our minds and searching for adventure. You motivated me in my professional and personal life, you are the reason (and your sister), everyday I want to be a better person than the last. You are one truly amazing gift, and while I hate the time has flown by, I have enjoyed every single moment being your mom and raising you. Now I look forward to what this new chapter will bring, and what my role in it will be.
 
I love you, to the sun, moon, stars beyond and back and much much more.