Nature of the beast

When is it OK to throw in the towel?  Over the last couple of years I've come to terms with myself that I am competitive when I know I am good at something.  Doing duathlons, I quickly size up people and within the first few minutes pick the people I am going to try to pick off.  I have this game in my head, that when it comes to the point to go around (in tri's and du's you have to be race legal, meaning no drafting, so if you pass you have to commit to get ahead) I WILL NOT let them pass again, no matter how much I may suffer holding them off.  I have the ability to push myself, and have gained confidence in my body that through the training I've done I can with stand it!  It actually gets my motivation up at the start of a race when you say good luck to someone and they snarl at you, I think to myself "well then I plan to kick your a*# out there".  I pride myself on the fact that weather doesn't stop me.

I am supposed to race/ride this weekend in what is said to be an "epic" ride, epic in the sense that its harder than most things you will ever do and when you finish it will be epic.  There are 100 people signed up, 5 women.  One of my best friends and I have been planning to do this for the last 5 weeks.  (Rick and her husband will be doing it too, but will be WAY ahead of us) .  The forecast for tomorrow is 32 degrees, 80% chance of rain starting the night before, and around 11am the wind gust will start.  This ride is 80 miles on dirt and gravel, I am prepared and ready for it, but do I want to be miserable for 6 hours?  It starts with a 17  miles of  climbing, what this means is if I were to wear rain gear (It doesn't breath), I would start to sweat climbing, and coming down the next 17 miles I would freeze.  My feet will be soaked, hands wet, bike muddy, knees aching from the cold.  At what point is this fun and worth it.  I am trying to be OK with NOT doing this, trying to tell myself OK so you paid $40, you have trained and are in the best bike shape you have ever been in, isn't that enough?  My friend and I had a long heart to heart. People are bailing on this and they are making a good argument for it, we need to be smart, not just competitive.....