Going Forward

I recently changed my FB profile picture to one of Rick and I, this is only the second time I've done that.  I was a bit shocked and humbled by all the likes and sweet comments it got.  I look at the picture and I love it, I see happiness in it.  For others to see that, and be so happy for me, wow, it brought tears to my eyes.  You may remember THIS post, it was hard to write and the sadness I felt, really hurt.  I was scared on so many levels, would I be ok financially, would I be enough for my kids, could I handle a big old house and a business by myself, was I ok being alone...that's just a few.
Two and a half years later I see a girl in a picture that is happy and in love. One that has overcome those fears.  Thank you ALL for your love and support.  It has meant the world to me.  THANK YOU!

I don't post a lot about  my relationship, or bombard people with pictures of us, here or on FB, but we're good, very good!.  My previous relationship I think  I felt the need to prove to others we were good, talk myself into the fact that we were good, or even direct it at the other women.  It was a possessive behavior, as though he were mine, when really I was never enough for him.
This relationship is different, there is love and respect, and it goes both ways.  I feel happy and secure, and there is no doubt....ever. I don't need to post it, I know it,  and all those around me know it.
Looking back I wanted to figure out why I stayed when it wasn't good for me.  All I could come up with was that I believed we were a "unit"  and that I couldn't do it on my own, second my kids.  I was one of those, I would've stayed forever if it meant being able to be with them everyday.  In a way I am glad he did what he did, it didn't leave me much choice other than to file for divorce.   A blessing in disguise.
Rick and I have very few problems, granted we don't live together, but that's actually one of the obstacles we sometimes face.  We both own houses,  which means often neglecting one of the houses.  The other for me would be the only time we stay the night with each  other is when the kids are at their dads, which isn't very often.  Quite honestly sometimes I miss that time right before bed, the snuggling and talking,  falling asleep and waking up with the one you love.  But if that's as big as our problems get, well then it's ALL good!

I think one of my friends said it perfectly in a comment about that picture, "looking back and moving forward...literally"