I think I must be in that magic window of life. The one where I really appreciate aging. I love where I am in life right now. There is a calm, perhaps it's because my kids are older (one in college and one is 16) and life seems to slow WAY down when you are no longer running all different directions. Granted I loved that time, but it was exhausting! It could be my husband, I am crazy in love with this man and our life. He will retire in less than 10 years, kids will be out of college, our house will be paid off by then. That's all so soon, when I think of how fast the last 8 crazy years have gone. God willing we will be in good health. I don't wish for time to go fast, but knowing this is all around the corner, makes you appreciate life in the very moment. Maybe it's that I am no longer self employed. As amazing as that almost 15 year run was, I have days off now. I have paid vacation, I am not running around making trips to the hospital several times a day. Some days I work from home, I get up early, run my dog, shower put on some comfy clothes and slippers and say to hell with make up.
I know being in good health is certainly a part of it. I love the wisdom that comes with getting older, the letting go of stress. That comes from the confidence to eliminate toxic people from your life.
I want to embrace this period, it feels well deserved.
After my ex husband left at the end of 2010, I made a very conscience decision to focus on my kids and myself. I had been with my ex since I was 18, we had been together for 15 years. I lost the core of who I was. It was truly the most healing therapeutic time of my life. To take time to process the shit show of that year, then dive into finding myself.
I truly believe that period of self discovery allowed me the time to be closer than ever with my kids. It was just us, and I can look back on that and really appreciate our time together. When I met my husband, he had been on a similar path, together there was a love and calm all in one I had never felt.
As I started writing this two days ago, my friend messaged me. It was the 8 year anniversary of her very best friend passing away. This lovely woman was 31 with a 2 year old daughter and infant son. She died of breast cancer. It was yet another reminder to live the very best life I can. Be kind, speak the truth and love with your whole heart. It is an honor to be alive.
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