Saturday, March 25, 2017

Yogi Speak

You know you're a yogi when.....I'm pretty sure when you start using words like mindful, energy, intention all while binge yoga(ing)!

I realized I may be a yogi a week ago, when I sped down to yoga to get there my standard 15 minutes early. I like the warm studio, laying on my mat, mediating and stretching before class. However this time I was chatting it up with a new instructor, I would describe as having amazing "energy". We talked about our day, it wasn't a particularly nice day, yet I was describing it as a relaxing, non pressing, overall awesome day. That's when the instructor confirmed my yogi suspicion and made the comment that anyone listening would know we are a bunch of yogis. I almost wanted to high five her! Before I started practice regularly I had my doubts. The owners they speak it, but did they really live it? Absolutely! For me this evolution has taken over a year and a half, but I love everything about it.

I am the least likely regular, and make progress at the speed of a snail, but it doesn't stop the warm reception I get from both instructors and others practicing!

There are downsides though. Before heading to Europe for two weeks I wanted to get in as much yoga as possible. I essentially avoided packing until late the night before because I had been packing, in my mind for days during savasana when in reality I should've been packing days before. Next time!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

She Rocks

My girl, she's amazing. Granted I know, or at least hope most people feel that way about their kids, but my daughter really makes my world an awesome place.
She's currently doing five elite team dance classes. Since January putting in 10-15 hours a week at the studio. She's taken three in the years past. We talked about the financial commitment of adding two more dances and decided she would pay the difference each month for the two extra classes, plus all of the competition fees. How does a 14-15 year old earn that much, she works. She takes all the babysitting jobs she can, and works three mornings a week at 6am before going to school. Tuesday's she leaves the house at 6am and gets home at 8:30pm. But that's not all, she's maintaining a 3.8 GPA, and put in the 145 volunteer hours to letter in it. Her work ethic and positive attitude, makes this mom so proud.
Weekend 1 in CDA was my weekend. Weekend 2 was her Dad's weekend (he's a pretty good sport about it), however last minute I rearranged work, picked my sister and nephew up and drove down as well. I've never really considered myself a dance mom, but man I love watching her perform. Plus she loved having everyone there supporting her!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Love and Trust

I can't tell you how many times a woman after going through a tough break up has asked me if it was hard to open my heart to love and trust another post divorce.   This is why I share my story.  After my divorce I looked to my best friend. She was with (and now married) to this amazing man that loves her and her son dearly.  She was very clear about the struggles she faced after her divorce, she was open with the fact that it takes time and work to get through,  yet she gave me so much hope as well.  Good was still to come.

The answer is no it wasn't hard to open my heart to love and trust again.  It definitely wasn't something I went right out and sought, but after my divorce was final I pulled up my big girl pants and made myself be open to dating.  I went on some really great dates with great guys.  None that I felt a connection that I wanted keep dating....until I met Rick.  I didn't know this guy at all (although when he picked me up he let me know he had in fact been to my house a few years before when we all met for a group ride). I remember feeling a connection and excitement when we talked on the phone those couple days leading up to our date.  Our first date lasted 13 hours and we were on the phone the next morning making plans to see each other again.   We had something special from the get go.  I knew I was in love a few months later when we were at a little beach house in Manzanita.  There hasn't been a single moment in our relationship where I didn't  trusted him.  I'm certain he always has my best interest at hand.  Love and trust came easy, because it felt right.  I knew things could end, and if they did I would be heartbroken, but the love I felt wasn't worth ending to save potential heartache in the future.  I wanted to feel it, and so glad I embraced it.

I truly believe we all get the chance to live a fulfilling life.  It just takes time and a lot of little lessons placed before us before we can truly find and appreciate that great feeling of loving and being loved.

Sunday, March 5, 2017


I recently shared this on Facebook. Most of you that have followed my blog followed this journey and offered love and support along the way as well.
It feels good to be where I am in life. Complete. There are no  thoughts of what if, my life just IS, in the most beautiful way.
The relationships I have with people in my life are because I want to. They work both ways, and are
not one sided relationships. This includes my Ex, to give credit where credit is do. My issue co-parenting with him has always been communication, once he truly understood where my frustrations came from, he worked to improve, additionally I allow more grace in delayed communication.
I've shared my story and all the emotions along the way because they are real. I know many people find themselves in the same situations and if it hadn't been for my friends openly sharing their stories, I might have sunk into utter dispair, but knowing they got through, and allowed happiness and love in their lives, gave me hope.
There is no timeline for grief in any form. Be it a death or a relationship that ends. We are individuals and we all grieve in different ways and lengths of time. Let's respect that amongst our fellow humans. Be comfortable grieving, it's ok. In a relationship that ends the way mine did, the parties that hurt me would've rather I had just swept everything under the rug and moved on, but I didn't really feel like they had my best interests at hand anyways, so I followed my own course. It's been 6 years since my divorce was final, I am truly happy with where I am today, happy I had the chance to grieve in a loving and supportive atmosphere amongst friends and family.
Those that have reached out recently, there's is no easy path, however the path is ALL yours. Just take comfort in knowing it does and will get better and better.
I guess my one last piece of advice would be to find yourself again, while honoring and loving those around you that allow you to do so.
Be well my friends.

Sunday, February 26, 2017


The older I get, the more comfortable in my own skin I become. My teens and 20's I struggled, but there was something that happened when I became a mom. I created two of the most beautiful people, and that to me made me feel beautiful. I'm approaching 40, years of tennis in the sun show the wear on my face, yet I'm gravitating towards less and less make up. I have a decent head of hair that I embrace just as it is. Stylish, not so much, simple and low maintenance most definitely.
What I have noticed is a disturbing shift in our online (social media) appearances, this is something I have talked about at great deal with my daughter. With instagram filters, and apps like face tune, people are actually taking away their wrinkles, smoothing their skin, whitening their teeth, sometimes to such degree when you do see them in person you hardly recognize the person in front of you. They gather (or perhaps rather look for it) validation and praise on the social media, but shy away from showing the real self. I understand everyone wants to look good, but let's work on continuing to leave some of the real ness in. Don't get me wrong, I love IG filters as much as the next person, however when I run into the grocery store after a good workout (as I often do), I want people to recognize me as that's who I am.  Sometimes sweaty and no make up with fine wrinkles and hair that forms to one giant dread.  Beauty is different for everyone, but for me real beauty usually accompanies a genuine personality as well, and for me that's beautiful.
A couple weeks ago at my yoga studio I was approached going into class if I would mind taking a picture and saying a few words after class. I instantly said yes, but within a minute it dawned on me I was walking into hot yoga (a 75 minute class done in a studio heated to 110 degrees), what I wanted to do upon that realization was turn around and ask if I could do it another class, but decided I needed to meditate on it the next 75 minutes. Throughout the class I thought of my excuses, hoped I could sneak out "forgetting", but by the time we got to shavasana, I had decided to suck it up. This is who I am, I have no problem heading to Safeway after hot yoga why should I avoid FB looking the way I do after doing something so good. This was an exercise in being placed right in front of me. I decided to embrace it and embrace myself.
So this is the photo that appeared on Facebook.
Cheers to being the closest thing to the real you, you can be!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Dogs and Yoga

Two of my favorite things these days. I just want to take a moment and make something clear. I am fortunate to be doing both. I get to spend an average of 10-14 hours a month volunteering for the humane society and I love (almost) every minute of it. I either take a dog out hiking, or come before they open or after they close to get the dogs outside to "potty" and burn off a little energy. I believe in volunteering when you can, "can" being the key word. People often put emphasis on volunteerism, and I would like to believe that most people would love to give of their time. However for a better part of my life and I know for many, the time hasn't been there, or the "luxury" to not be working and instead volunteering.

Through High School I worked to save up for college, then was a young mom working multiple jobs, opposite schedule of my husband to avoid daycare, when there likely would've been time I ended up going through a divorce becoming a single Mom, trying to balance work and home on my own.

It was my daughter a few years ago (at the time she was 12) that wanted to volunteer at the humane society. It seemed like a good idea and we'd give it a try. For the first two years, we struggled to even put in our 4 hours a month, not for lack of wanting to, but her activities increased, meaning her "drivers" duties did to. It's only in the last 8 months that life has truly slowed down, she's busier but I have more time and I am able to spend far more time there.

I still work full time, however I'm lucky to have an unconventional schedule that leaves me with a free window every afternoon from noon-three.

I know plenty of people that would love to volunteer but they work a 9-5 and their limited time home is spent with their families. Equally admirable in my opinion.

Yoga is the other one, like I've said before I desperately could've benefited from this while going through the chaos of my husbands affair then our divorce. However, I could barely afford my house, all luxuries were cut out, and yoga wasn't even started. To belong to a "studio", be it yoga, barre or Pilates is a luxury. One that is certainly nice to have in life but not necessary to our survival. Fortunately I didn't know what I was missing at the time, because now it is a huge part of my life. I practice anywhere from 3-5 times a week. Again, because the time is right.

All this is largely due to Ricks support. I'm married to a man that works hard and provides a comfortable, stable life for us. Supports us in all our crazy endeavors. My kids are older, and I have more "free" time. In general I am secure and it's the right time to give. I feel extremely fortunate to be able to volunteer. Yet, aware that not all have the privilege to be able to do this.


Saturday, January 7, 2017

New Years Resolutions

I don't really do them. Let's face it, every year I should probably lose 5lbs, eat less sugar, drink more water. Instead each year I set a goal as a family what we can do to not only better our lives but hopefully make a small impact for future generations. This year we are saying NO to plastics, as best we can. I've been gradually switching out plastic containers in the house for glass ones, my goal by the end off this year is to have no more plastic containers. My daughter is a fan of the reusable plastic Starbucks drink cups, so those will remain because at least it's reusing. Bike bottles will also remain plastic for the obvious reasons but will make the switch to all BPA free. We are ok right now about bringing our reusable shopping bags, but this is an area I know we can improve.

These are habits and practices that have long been in place in other countries, in the United States we just choose convenience. Cheers to a better us in 2017!