Co-parenting

As great as this little life is I have created for the kids and myself, there is one downside. Co-parenting. We have no control of the actions of the other parent (within reason), what they do, say, how they portray themselves. This isn't a big deal, however when they do something in a public forum that is frowned upon in a conservative town, it does reflect on my children. It doesn't effect my reputation or cause people to question my choices, in fact it does the opposite, but when it causes parents of my children's friends to question the environment your child is in, or one their child could be in if they are around your child (and I get it, I would do the same), it sucks for my kids.

So this morning to decompress, think and clear my head I do my go to. I'm an early riser and love nothing more than catching the sunrise on a run, I hit the trails.

When I am sad, or frustrated I run hard and go far. Being on the trails, the smooth roll of the hills, the ever changing turns, my focus is the trail, looking ahead, paying attention, being in tune with my body. Soon I am calm, I have come up with a plan, I can carry on.

I am lucky, I have great friends and have learned to lean on them, call them when I want to vent, and listen to their advice.  I am fortunate, my ex and I have very little reason to communicate. Early on I'd share my kids academics, or ask for his help in shuttling the kids, but that relationship was compromised and now it's best to rely on those in my life willing to help.     People are there, and they are gracious and willing to help. I've called my friends when I've gotten in a pinch and can't get there to pick my child up. As for the academics, my ex has all the same tools to access them as I do. It's his choice to show up, or not for conferences, to check the online grading. If I have concerns or need to process things, I talk to Rick. At this point he's around my kids nearly everyday, he knows them well and I can bounce ideas off of him. This was one of the hardest things to let go, early on when I just wanted to talk over concerns with my ex about our  kids, just to gather another opinion or sort it out over the phone, but that's when you turn to friends.

Now our only communicatin typically involves money. Asking him to pay half of this camp or that, or to pay his portion of medical/dental. This doesn't seem big but it's a pain in the ass. I often am left feeling like a nag, wishing I could send a text and he would follow through, but it's more like one or two texts, followed by several phones calls, then a reminder text.

I don't think there's any way around it. It's just the way it is. In my perfect word I wouldn't have to communicate at all, but it is our responsibility as the parents of our kids to do so, in a semi respectful way. For the most part it really does go smooth, we do have a system that works for us, is it perfect? Far from it, but it is ok

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